My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
