girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
