there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
