He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
