Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
