I feel like I'm in dance class right now
too bad you live with your parents still
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
