even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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