Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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