since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
