She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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