Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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