I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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