OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize