Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
