it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
