the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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