But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
