party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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