Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
