it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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