I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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