You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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