I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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