There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
