i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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