after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
