We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
organizing the empties. That sober.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
