Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
worst night to have a conscience
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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