yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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