Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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