I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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