Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
