I'm so fucking centered right now
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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