Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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