He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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