So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
