Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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