Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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