Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
