Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
