If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I've blown a few things in my day
high people should be assigned attendants
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
