we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
