Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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