shes about as inviting as chlamydia
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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