Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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