He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
