After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
