Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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