What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
