Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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