On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize