Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
