If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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