dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
