Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
