I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
