Kiss
Puke
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize