I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize