If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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