Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
