it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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