I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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