We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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