Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize