Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
