this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize