they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
