That's intense
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
